Haiku

[khveteranXIII]

Destiny Islands
Swallowed by the Darkness
From the Darkside's Wrath

Whatdoya think?

[NeoRoxas]

Destiny Islands
Swallowed by the Darkness
From the Darkside's Wrath

Whatdoya think?

hmm i spy only 6 sylables in the 2nd sentence?

swa-llowed-by-the-dark-ness

other than tat pretty cool
(im no good at poetry)

[khveteranXIII]

I apologize...now I'm going to be teased for counting like a 6 year old lol

Destiny Islands
Swallowed by the Darkside's Wrath
Paradise is Lost

[VenFan]

Opposite of like.

[Shadow of Light]

Could there possibly be more included in this poem....

[khveteranXIII]

Feh....

So hard to please....

Appears in strange world
Keyblade Bearer inside the
Maze of Traverse Town

(please count "world" as 1 syllable)

Searching for the King
What does the Palooka Know?
Pluto runs away

Young Kid meets Old Gramps
The Search for His Friends starts now
Extremely Fruitless

Creatures from Islands
Steal Hearts for more Power
Kid becomes Warrior

Strange Man confronts Kid
He seems to want the Keyblade
Well he can't have it!

What do you think of them apples?

(more to come, please comment)

[khveteranXIII]

Could there possibly be more included in this poem....

BTW look up "haiku" and you'll find out why I couldn't put more.

[4thkeybladeholder]

I remember reading about some things on haiku.
For instance, did you know that the english actually adopted the 5:7:5 from the japanese?
But anyways, I also know that Haikus don't always follow that type of structure.
Due to the fact that the english became aware that 17 English syllables convey a great deal more information than 17 Japanese syllables, and have come to write haiku in fewer syllables, most often in three segments that follow a short-long-short pattern without a rigid structure.
I just wanted to tell you about that, I found it extremely interesting when I first found this out. I was always a fan of Haiku writing, although I don't compose them anymore. I never liked such a confined space in writing, regardless of how you make them different. Three lines is just not for me.


Oh yes, back to your haikus,
I have not much to say except that I believe you are off just one syllable on a few of them, which is understandable. It is so hard to find the right words. Also, many of them are interesting, but put more description in it, which before you say anything, I know you have done so in a few, but since its so short, you really need to paint the picture with each word, not the overall sentence.

[khveteranXIII]

I remember reading about some things on haiku.
For instance, did you know that the english actually adopted the 5:7:5 from the japanese?
But anyways, I also know that Haikus don't always follow that type of structure.
Due to the fact that the english became aware that 17 English syllables convey a great deal more information than 17 Japanese syllables, and have come to write haiku in fewer syllables, most often in three segments that follow a short-long-short pattern without a rigid structure.
I just wanted to tell you about that, I found it extremely interesting when I first found this out. I was always a fan of Haiku writing, although I don't compose them anymore. I never liked such a confined space in writing, regardless of how you make them different. Three lines is just not for me.


Oh yes, back to your haikus,
I have not much to say except that I believe you are off just one syllable on a few of them, which is understandable. It is so hard to find the right words. Also, many of them are interesting, but put more description in it, which before you say anything, I know you have done so in a few, but since its so short, you really need to paint the picture with each word, not the overall sentence.

Okay I'll take your advice to heart

[NeoRoxas]

i like it. As i said before i suck eggs at poetry so i couldn't even try to make one.
(P.S. How do you like them apples is 8 syllables HA! XD)

[4thkeybladeholder]

I'm just glad I can help in any way.