Kingdom Hearts: Lords of the Fallen

[Graeme151]

This is a fanfic I've been writing. it involves a new kind of creature, aka, the Souless. Reading the prologue should tell you all you need to know about them.
Please feel free to comment, but please only constructive criticism, nothing like "THIS IS RUBBISH!" etc.

Prologue

Xagmere looked at the moon in the sky. It was like no ordinary moon, it was blood red. It’s light shone upon the Tower of Night, his home, home to all of the Creations.
The Tower was high enough that the top would be above the clouds; if there were any clouds in the Realm of Hate.
The Tower consisted of four sections, War, Famine, Pestilence and Death. Each was home to four of the Creations.
The Creations were an elite group of Soulless, the Soulless version of Organization XIII. Instead of black robes, they each wore robes of their Element’s colour. Take Xagmere for example, he wore green robes, for he controlled the element of Wind.
Soulless were created when the corresponding Heartless and Nobody met. That made them much less common than either of the other two Denizens of Darkness, but they were also stronger.
Xagmere strode towards the tower, going through the high gates, and into the grounds. Pausing for only a second, he dutifully walked towards Death, his home section in the tower.
Each section housed the four who were most suited for the Title. War was for the strongest, Pestilence for the smartest and sneakiest, Famine for those who were in between, and Death…
Death was for the four leading members, other than the leader himself of course! It housed Xagmere, Drexawn, Iddavix and Mathoxs.
Pestilence housed Sorxs, Souxeil, Sophexi, and Xican.
War was home to Nebx, Xarmk (pronounced Xarmak), Lumacx and Xanthamas.
Xemjas, Noxav, Colixan and Roxry resided in Famine
At the top of the tower resided Xachos, the Leader and founder of the Creations.
There were three floors, each separated by five flights of stairs. War, Famine and Pestilence were on the ground floor, Death was on the first floor, and, at the very top, on the second floor, was Xachos’ private chambers.
Xagmere went to the Meeting Room, which was situated in Death. He sat down at his position, across from Drexawn, who wore black robes with a huge diagonal streak, for Sound. To his right sat Iddavix, wearing robes that magically changed from black, to silver, to white and back again, which symbolised Psychic, and to his left sat Mathoxs, wearing the silver robes of Lunar.
Only one person spoke that night, Drexawn.
“The attack is in one month. Prepare your branch of Soulless for the greatest battle fought in millennia.”
And then, they each went to their chambers, in perfect silence.

That's it for just now. I'm gonna keep working on it. What did you people think?

[master of nothingness]

good i like it. its got a good disciption but i think it could use a littel more and your speach could be stronger. it should sond a littel more dromatic.

[Graeme151]

Thanks for the comment. it is only the prologue, though. I think the next chapter I'll move away from the Soulless.

[Namine]

That's a good prologue.

[master of nothingness]

i agree but still its missing something i just dont know what yet

[Graeme151]

Chapter 1

Sora woke up as the morning light streamed through his window. He sat up, and rubbed his weary eyes. Throwing the sheets into a crumpled pile on the floor, he stood up and pulled on his ‘trademark’ clothes.
The letter yesterday… about something going on in Radiant Garden. He knew he should try to get there, but with the Kind, Donald and Goofy gone with the Gummi Ship, he had no means of travelling there.
He walked outside into the Sun’s glare, and thought to himself. If only the letter hadn’t been caught by the wind, then he would be able to remind himself exactly what it said.
He looked up to see his friends sitting on the sand, by the sea. There was Selphie, Wakka, Tidus, Kairi, and, slightly apart from the others, Riku. He walked over to them, yet it seemed they had not noticed him yet.
”Sora!” Riku said, looking up. “Hurry up! It’s late enough already! You’re moving as slow as a snail!”
Kairi and Wakka looked up when Riku shouted. Kairi caught sight of Sora, and smiled.
“Hey Sora!” she called out to him.
Sora gulped, and then smiled.
”Hey guys!” he shouted back. Then he looked at Riku, and frowned a little. “Riku. You said I’m late. Late for what?”
”Oh… nothing much,” Riku said, but his grin said otherwise. “But…”
Kairi looked at Riku. “Come on, Riku! Tell him!”
”Don’t rush me,” Riku said. “Anyway… Sora. You know how we have no way of travelling to Hollow Ba- Radiant Garden, sorry…?”
”Yeah…” Sora said nodding his head. “So what?”
”Well… we’ve been thinking,” Riku said, waving a hand to indicate that it was a joint decision.
”We’ve been thinking, why not build a new raft!” Tidus cried out impatiently.
Sora wasn’t prepared for this. He opened his mouth, then closed it again.
“Good idea, ya?” Wakka asked.
“Y-yeah,” Sora said, stunned. “Yeah. I guess so. But…”
“But what?” Selphie asked.
“Radiant Garden is another world,” Sora explained. “How will a raft take us there?”
”You forget Sora,” Kairi said, smiling again. “I sent that bottle by sea, and it reached you in the Realm of Darkness, didn’t it?”
”Yeah… but it might be only the Realm of Darkness that is connected to Destiny Islands,” Sora said.
“Did someone mention… Darkness?”
It was someone familiar who spoke. The voice came from behind Sora. Sora shivered, he remembered that voice, all too well... He turned slowly, to see five people in long black cloaks, and a girl. It was obvious who the girl was, Kairi’s Nobody, Namine. And the person who had spoken was Axel.
The cloaked figure at the front snapped his fingers, and, as one, the five cloaked figures reached up and pushed back their hoods.
Before Sora and his friends stood fie, all too familiar figures, three of whom they knew had faded from existence.
Axel, Roxas, Namine, Zexion, Demyx, and Xigbar, all memories from the past, and not all good ones.
“But…” Riku began.
“How…?” Kairi stuttered.
Tidus, Wakka and Selphie, who knew little of the Organization, said nothing, and simply watched with interest.
“You!” Sora cried out pointing at Xigbar. “And you!” he pointed at Demyx. “You tried to kill me”
Riku jumped up and pointed a finger at Zexion.
“You tried to control me!” he shouted at a smirking Zexion.
Kairi looked at Namine, and Namine looked back. They giggled.
“Guys, guys,” Roxas said, trying to maintain peace. Trying. “Stay calm!”
”NO!” Riku cried out. “I want revenge!”
”Heh…” Zexion said. “You’ve had your revenge Riku. You killed me, remember? If anyone should be seeking revenge, it should be me!”
“Right… guys,” Xigbar said, his yellow eye glinting strangely. “We didn’t come to fight. We didn’t come to get killed again either…” He had noticed that Sora and Riku both had their Keyblades at the ready.
“Then why did you come?” Kairi asked quietly.
”Now, there’s a good question!” Xigbar laughed. “We came because we were asked to. By another old friend.”
“Who?” Riku asked.
”oh… no-one special. Ansem. The Wise,” Demyx muttered.
“ANSEM THE WISE!?” Sora, Riku and Kairi cried out at the same time. Tidus, Wakka and Selphie remained silent, watching what was going on. They were therefore the only ones who saw another Portal of Darkness appear.
“Yes. Hey, if we came back, he can to!” Axel said. “I don’t know how we came back. It just sorta happened. Don’t ask how…”
“But we do…” An unfamiliar voice. Suddenly the portal grew to twice the size, and everybody noticed it.
Out of it stepped a man in a green cloak. He was followed by three others, one with a black cloak with a large white streak, one with a silver cloak, and the other with a cloak that changed colours.
And in unison, they spoke.
”We do…”

[Crimson]

Hey Graeme your makeing a good job on our story, ill make one before this, how the head of the souless became the head..

Cant wait till you add more

[Graeme151]

thanks. And okay to the story idea!

[Graeme151]

Chapter 2

Sora looked closely at the figure at the front. He wore a long green cloak, identical to the Organization’s in all but colour. It was the same with the others, the same as the Organization in all but colour.
“Are you guys in the Organization?” Riku asked suddenly. “’Cause you got the colours wrong!”
”Insolent fool!” the man in the multicoloured cloak. “We are the Creations!”
”Creations…?” Kairi asked, curiously.
“I told you they wouldn’t know!” the man in the silver cloak said.
”Hmm…” the man in the green cloak murmured. “Ah, I have been rude! Let us introduce ourselves!”
With that, the four reached up and lowered their hoods. The man in the green cloak had pale skin, red eyes, and long silver hair. He was sneering in a superior way.
The man in the black and whit cloak had long, dark brown hair, and bright blue eyes. He had a mocking smile on his face.
The man in the colour-changing robe had short brown hair, glasses and hazel eyes. He was frowning, angrily.
The man in the silver cloak had short black hair, cold eyes, and green eyes. His know emotions, he simply stared.
“May I introduce, number three of the Creations, Drexawn!” the man in green said, mockingly, and indicated the man in the black and white cloak. “And here we have number four, Iddavix!” He was pointing at the man in the multicoloured cloak. “And, of course, number five, Mathoxs!” He indicated the man in the silver cape.
“And you are…? “Zexion asked spitefully.
“Oh yes, I forgot,” he said, in a way that indicated he had not forgot, and was simply waiting. “I am number two of the Creations, Xagmere.”
”Haha!” Sora said. “Where’s the leader then? Where’s your ‘Number One?’”
Xagmere’s smirk never faltered. “Xachos is our Leader. He is still in the Tower of night. He would not waste time on such a little mission.”
”Oh you’re on a mission, eh?” asked Xigbar, who had previously been uninterested. “What’s your mission?”
“Our mission, sir,” Drexawn said ‘sir’ in a mocking fashion. “Is to capture him!” He pointed at Sora. “The Keyblade master.”
”Yes,” Xagmere said, and his smile had gone. He had a hateful expression on his face. “And we’ll take you three too. Anyone who has welded a Keyblade.” He pointed at Kairi, Riku and Roxas in turn.
Axel smirked. “If you’re after them, you’ll have to go through me.”
”Wait,” Zexion said. “We’ll let you take them without a fight if you te-“
”WHAT!?” Axel cried in outrage. “I AM NOT LETTING THEM TAKE MY FRIENDS!”
“Silence, whelp. Let him speak.” This came from Iddavix, who was watching Axel with mild interest. “Continue, nobody.”
“You said you knew how we came back into being,” Zexion said. “If you tell us, we’ll let you take those four without a fight.”
The Creations seemed to ponder this for a moment or two. Then, Mathoxs spoke up.
”We have decided.”
There was a silence. Riku, Roxas and Axel looked at Zexion hatefully, while the others (including Zexion) looked expectedly at the Creations.
”Yeah,” Drexawn said, smiling. It was the smile of a little child who had a secret to hide from his parents. “We decided… no.”
”What?” Zexion cried. “W-why not?”
“Well… it has been ages since we had a proper fight. We’ve been looking forward to something like this,” Xagmere said.
“You expect to win against… eleven people? No ten, Zexion can’t fight,” Demyx said.
”I think so,” Mathoxs said calmly. “Souless like us like a challenge.”
”Very well then,” Riku said. “The battle begins.”
With that, the Organization drew their weapons, as did the others.
Except the Creations. They laughed. Then they lifted off the ground, and floated into the air. Looking down on their opponents, they each drew their own weapons. From nowhere, Xagmere produced two Katanas; Mathoxs wielded a huge Battle Axe; Iddavix held two daggers, and Drexawn held a… guitar.
He played a riff, repeated it twice, and then grasped the end of the guitar (it was long, and had no strings at the very end) and pulled it out from the instrument. A huge sword appeared, and the hollow body of the guitar disintegrated.
Then, for the first time in centuries, Nobodies and Humans fought alongside each other against the Soulless.

[fenrir135]

dang this is gettin awesome. Good job