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View Full Version : PLEASE, read THIS!!!.

Tidus Shuyin
06-03-2008, 04:26 PM
Ok, this is mine lyrics for a song idea. Read.

I woke up in my bed
With a strange feeling into my heart
And then I realize my last night
I saw you in ...

My heartbeat goes faster and faster
Along with my thoughts of you
A picture of you is standing in front of me
From that...

D-R-E-A-M!
It's where our feelings
meet and bind together
And screams for meeting
Each other

I go out of my house
And I feel and hear wind
Which touches and talks to me
Like you in that...

D-R-E-A-M!
It's where our feelings
meet and bind together
And screams for meeting
Each other

But wait!
I remember last words
Like honey to my ears
A promise of meeting each other
out of that...

D-R-E-A-M!

Any comments, please???
Kryptik
06-03-2008, 08:56 PM
Well I can definately see a rock, techno punk attitude to it. Excellent job!..
Helix: The True Hero
06-03-2008, 09:06 PM
It's difficult to properly judge and commend song lyrics without a feel of how it sounds first. If you hand me a page of words, I won't fully get the feel of it unless I hear it.
Tidus Shuyin
06-03-2008, 09:08 PM
Ah... for that... still a little time to wait.
UltimaxWeapon
06-03-2008, 10:17 PM
Well, its Rock, but not the good rock in my opinion. I see these lyrics being used in mainly Pop Punk. Definitely not techno punk, kryptik. That sounds like a disgrace to punk itself. No offense, Arthur, but so is Pop Punk. But the lyrics aren't bad at all. But like I said in TKL, you really need instrumental work to really tell where these lyrics are going if you wanna pin-point on one genre.
Jess
06-03-2008, 10:22 PM
Lyrically, I read this as pop as opposed to Pop Punk (which is an amazing genre, btw, haha).

Some of the grammar doesn't make sense, but if I look passed that, the song itself looks quite short. You really need to get a musical idea for this song or it's nothing more than a sonnet.
Keybladewarrior69
06-03-2008, 10:23 PM
Its good in my opinion. :D
UltimaxWeapon
06-03-2008, 10:24 PM
Lyrically, I read this as pop as opposed to Pop Punk (which is an amazing genre, btw, haha).

Some of the grammar doesn't make sense, but if I look passed that, the song itself looks quite short. You really need to get a musical idea for this song or it's nothing more than a sonnet.

Which is pretty much what I said...
I hate pop punk. :rolleyes:
Zacabi
06-03-2008, 10:28 PM
you'll have me singing it soon
Misuzu
06-04-2008, 01:09 AM
thats pretty kewl! i can never make lyrics...they usually become/turn into lenthgy poems.
tairi
06-05-2008, 11:14 PM
not bad. i write my own lyrics and that is pretty good.
Aniu, Lover of Riku
06-19-2008, 11:25 PM
it's great! it makes me think of my love for riku. great, great, GREAT!