Axizol
06-08-2008, 03:03 AM
My friend she sees some potential in me, don't worry, i'm not feeling as emo as it suggests, lol.
~~
--->
Confusion - Psychology Impaired orientation with respect to time, place, or person; a disturbed mental state.
<---
No better word. Not to explain anything. Most of what happens nowadays involves disturbed mental statuses, especially the one i'm experiancing as you read. My brain is all places at once - at the crash, Scott, and the adreneline - at what will happen to dearest Sarah and how everybody will handle it - how I'll be able to hold myself together without crashing - Stephanie, and how she'll handle what's going on with everybody and everything.
It's hella confusing.
--->
Assumption - a hypothesis that is taken for granted
<---
What happens if all of my assumptions about everything have been untrue? What happens if all of the assumptions i've made thus far to save my own ass have backfired, and ended up making me an ass? What if i'm over-reacting from the confusing state, maybe not, but the music rings in my ears like a child cries for it's mother before death, it's something that stays in your mind forever; something you'll never forget. My river of sanity is trickling down to it's last couple of gallons of water, as I near the ocean, I might not make it to open sea. I need to figure this out, figure everything out. The assumptions that i've made thus far have only backfired on me.
I assumed that I didn't like her.
I assumed she would be okay with that.
I assumed he wouldn't make me feel jealous with how much he loved her.
I assumed I wouldn't have to deal with this again.
I assumed they would be okay with it, too.
I assumed I wouldn't be in this boat again.
I assumed listening to her playlist about what happened between us wouldn't effect me like it did.
I assumed that everything would be all right.
You know what they say about assuming, it makes an 'ass' out of 'u' and 'me'
--->
Hate - the emotion of intense dislike; a feeling of dislike so strong that it demands action
<---
Everybody someday says that they 'hate' something. They don't fully understand the potential of the word.
I hate smoking, drinking, and drugs. I hate when people offer me to do any of said actions. I hate when people do said actions in front of me.
I hate when people do said actions and don't tell me.
I hate when i'm lied to.
Tell the goddamn Freaking truth.
--->
Sick - Suffering from or affected with a physical illness; ailing, Of or for sick persons, Nauseated, Mentally ill or disturbed, Unwholesome, morbid, or sadistic:
<---
I spilled some things to my friend the other day, they should be self-explainatory.
i sick of this
i'm sick of everything
i'm sick of being down
i'm sick of being worthless
i'm sick of not doing anything right
i'm sick of not being myself
i'm sick of sh**
i'm sick of people hiding things
i'm sick of being conjested
i'm sick of being plotted against
i'm sick of drugs
i'm sick of alcohol
i'm sick of Freaking not cutting
i'm sick of resisting
i'm sick of stephanie's sh** about not being pretty
i'm sick about losing control
i'm sick of being lonely
i'm sick of being the one behind everything
i'm sick of being Michael
i don't want to be the annoying entertainment that's there for nothing more then a little laugh
i'm sick of it
i'm sick of being underminded
i'm sick of people attacking me
i'm sick of not being able to be myself
I'm sick of my best friend not being here to hear me out
i'm sick of annoying other people with my problems
i'm sick of pain
i'm sick of death
i'm sick of pissing people off
i'm sick of being cold
i'm sick of not having the effort to do anything
i'm sick of self-consciousness
i'm sick of seeing nothing
i'm sick of being wrong
i'm sick of being right
i'm sick of not having enough brainpower to do anything
i'm sick of failing
And now I add one:
I'm sick of being confused.
--->
Love - A deep, tender, ineffable feeling of affection and solicitude toward a person, such as that arising from kinship, recognition of attractive qualities, or a sense of underlying oneness.
<---
What is Love? A dictionary cannot even scratch the surface of this crappy, half-assed designed feeling that one feels towards another. Why do we love who we do? Why are we always surpressed with our love? What if it's not really love?
I'm confused asto who I love.
I've assumed that I didn't love her.
I hate when I assume wrong.
I'm sick of being wrong, and love in general.
I might love him. I might love her. I might love somebody totally different from who i'm expecting to 'fall in love with'. One can never know.
~~~
Sometimes life seems too quiet
Into paralyzing silence
Like the moonless dark
Meant to make me strong
Familiar breath of my old lies
Changed the color in my eyes
Soon he will perforate the fabric of the peaceful by and by
Sorrow lasts through this night
I'll take this piece of you
And hope for all eternity
For just one second I felt whole
As you flew right through me
Left alone with only reflections of the memory
To face the ugly girl that's smothering me
Sitting closer than my pain
He knew each tear before it came
Soon He will perforate the fabric of the peaceful by and by
Sorrow last through this night
I'll take this piece of You
And hope for all eternity
For just one second I felt whole
As You flew right through me
And we kiss each other one more time
And sing this lie that's halfway mine
The sword is slicing through the question
So I won't be fooled by his angel light
Sorrow lasts through this night
I'll take this piece of you
And hope for all eternity
For just one second I felt whole
As you flew right through me
And up into the stars
Joy will come
~~~
I'm sick of it when I assume that I don't love somebody, and I hate always ending up confused.
...And I think i'm not unpredictable...~~~
Disclaimer: Nothing extreme happened the day that I wrote this, so don't worry. :P
Comments and Critique are widely accepted and even appreciated. :)
~~
--->
Confusion - Psychology Impaired orientation with respect to time, place, or person; a disturbed mental state.
<---
No better word. Not to explain anything. Most of what happens nowadays involves disturbed mental statuses, especially the one i'm experiancing as you read. My brain is all places at once - at the crash, Scott, and the adreneline - at what will happen to dearest Sarah and how everybody will handle it - how I'll be able to hold myself together without crashing - Stephanie, and how she'll handle what's going on with everybody and everything.
It's hella confusing.
--->
Assumption - a hypothesis that is taken for granted
<---
What happens if all of my assumptions about everything have been untrue? What happens if all of the assumptions i've made thus far to save my own ass have backfired, and ended up making me an ass? What if i'm over-reacting from the confusing state, maybe not, but the music rings in my ears like a child cries for it's mother before death, it's something that stays in your mind forever; something you'll never forget. My river of sanity is trickling down to it's last couple of gallons of water, as I near the ocean, I might not make it to open sea. I need to figure this out, figure everything out. The assumptions that i've made thus far have only backfired on me.
I assumed that I didn't like her.
I assumed she would be okay with that.
I assumed he wouldn't make me feel jealous with how much he loved her.
I assumed I wouldn't have to deal with this again.
I assumed they would be okay with it, too.
I assumed I wouldn't be in this boat again.
I assumed listening to her playlist about what happened between us wouldn't effect me like it did.
I assumed that everything would be all right.
You know what they say about assuming, it makes an 'ass' out of 'u' and 'me'
--->
Hate - the emotion of intense dislike; a feeling of dislike so strong that it demands action
<---
Everybody someday says that they 'hate' something. They don't fully understand the potential of the word.
I hate smoking, drinking, and drugs. I hate when people offer me to do any of said actions. I hate when people do said actions in front of me.
I hate when people do said actions and don't tell me.
I hate when i'm lied to.
Tell the goddamn Freaking truth.
--->
Sick - Suffering from or affected with a physical illness; ailing, Of or for sick persons, Nauseated, Mentally ill or disturbed, Unwholesome, morbid, or sadistic:
<---
I spilled some things to my friend the other day, they should be self-explainatory.
i sick of this
i'm sick of everything
i'm sick of being down
i'm sick of being worthless
i'm sick of not doing anything right
i'm sick of not being myself
i'm sick of sh**
i'm sick of people hiding things
i'm sick of being conjested
i'm sick of being plotted against
i'm sick of drugs
i'm sick of alcohol
i'm sick of Freaking not cutting
i'm sick of resisting
i'm sick of stephanie's sh** about not being pretty
i'm sick about losing control
i'm sick of being lonely
i'm sick of being the one behind everything
i'm sick of being Michael
i don't want to be the annoying entertainment that's there for nothing more then a little laugh
i'm sick of it
i'm sick of being underminded
i'm sick of people attacking me
i'm sick of not being able to be myself
I'm sick of my best friend not being here to hear me out
i'm sick of annoying other people with my problems
i'm sick of pain
i'm sick of death
i'm sick of pissing people off
i'm sick of being cold
i'm sick of not having the effort to do anything
i'm sick of self-consciousness
i'm sick of seeing nothing
i'm sick of being wrong
i'm sick of being right
i'm sick of not having enough brainpower to do anything
i'm sick of failing
And now I add one:
I'm sick of being confused.
--->
Love - A deep, tender, ineffable feeling of affection and solicitude toward a person, such as that arising from kinship, recognition of attractive qualities, or a sense of underlying oneness.
<---
What is Love? A dictionary cannot even scratch the surface of this crappy, half-assed designed feeling that one feels towards another. Why do we love who we do? Why are we always surpressed with our love? What if it's not really love?
I'm confused asto who I love.
I've assumed that I didn't love her.
I hate when I assume wrong.
I'm sick of being wrong, and love in general.
I might love him. I might love her. I might love somebody totally different from who i'm expecting to 'fall in love with'. One can never know.
~~~
Sometimes life seems too quiet
Into paralyzing silence
Like the moonless dark
Meant to make me strong
Familiar breath of my old lies
Changed the color in my eyes
Soon he will perforate the fabric of the peaceful by and by
Sorrow lasts through this night
I'll take this piece of you
And hope for all eternity
For just one second I felt whole
As you flew right through me
Left alone with only reflections of the memory
To face the ugly girl that's smothering me
Sitting closer than my pain
He knew each tear before it came
Soon He will perforate the fabric of the peaceful by and by
Sorrow last through this night
I'll take this piece of You
And hope for all eternity
For just one second I felt whole
As You flew right through me
And we kiss each other one more time
And sing this lie that's halfway mine
The sword is slicing through the question
So I won't be fooled by his angel light
Sorrow lasts through this night
I'll take this piece of you
And hope for all eternity
For just one second I felt whole
As you flew right through me
And up into the stars
Joy will come
~~~
I'm sick of it when I assume that I don't love somebody, and I hate always ending up confused.
...And I think i'm not unpredictable...~~~
Disclaimer: Nothing extreme happened the day that I wrote this, so don't worry. :P
Comments and Critique are widely accepted and even appreciated. :)