Enigmatic Bloodbath

[UltimaxWeapon]

For the writing team...

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Welcome to this black abyss that spins in a swirl,
now i'll the story of the war in my world.

Starts with a gun shot,
and the swing of a blade.
They come the sky,
and the throw a grenade.
And it's all worthless if you cannot see,
when they come from behind with a Grand 3.

It's a Enigmatic Bloodbath and everything in between.
And it's all worthless,
if you know what I mean.
Within every night time,
there's still the light of day.
Welcome to my story,
now please come my way.
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I'm only half-way done. The rest will be done soon.

[VenFan]

This sounds more like a poem rather than a song.

Even so, this is really good. This poem/song really tells a story. However, there were some errors. There seemed to be a word (or words) missing from the second line. Also, there are some punctuation marks missing, but it's nothing drastic. Just a comma and an apostrophe missing here and there. Don't forget to capitalize your 'I's,' either.

But you don't need to see some punctual errors in this piece to know that this is really good, and I can't wait to see the other half.

[UltimaxWeapon]

lol, well it's a song, but it's just not a fast song, you know what I mean? This is actually something i'm working on with my band. So hopefully i'll have the real version up soon. Thanks, though.

[Lone Wolf]

Thats really good, putting aside the grammatical errors(which aren't much really.)

[The King of KH]

Good lyrics , rock star ;) .....................

[UltimaxWeapon]

Tried to fix up the grammer a little bit....
The second half should be up tommorrow, or well, later on in the day, lol. It's like, 4:30 over here.

[Roxas[Nobody]]

Tried to fix up the grammer a little bit....
The second half should be up tommorrow, or well, later on in the day, lol. It's like, 4:30 over here.

maryland? i was just there for the weekend
i like poem/song thing a lot. it reminds of that Fall of Man game on PS3.

[UltimaxWeapon]

Thr finished project.

-------------------------------------------------------------------
Welcome to this black abyss that spins in a swirl,
now i'll the story of the war in my world.

Starts with a gun shot,
and the swing of a blade.
They come the sky,
and the throw a grenade.
And it's all worthless if you cannot see,
when they come from behind with a Grand 3.

It's a Enigmatic Bloodbath
and everything in between.
And it's all worthless,
if you know what I mean.
Within every night time,
there's still the light of day.
Welcome to my story,
now please come my way.

Now we move on to the wild wild west,
out in the country it's only the best.
A job for a cowboy doesn't come free,
and it's all worthless if you know what I mean.

It's a Enigmatic Bloodbath
and everything in between.
And it's all worthless,
if you know what I mean.
Within every night time,
there's still the light of day.
Welcome to my story,
now please come my way.

Enigmatic Bloodbath!

Repeat chorus X2.
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End.


It sounds better with instruments, trust me.

[VenFan]

I still see some words in the first part of the song missing. I only see one lowercased "I," so that's good, I guess. Like I previously said, this song really tells a story. This is really, really good. I didn't see as many errors as I did last time. Anyways, this is a really good song talking about the issues of violence in the world. This song could literally change the world.

[UltimaxWeapon]

You, my friend, just made my day.