Arashix
07-22-2008, 11:24 PM
Need reveiw please! This is the finalized version of a book that I had an idea for way back. It's the first book in a fantasy series that I hope to publish. I won't give away to much with a summery but basicly it's about a 13-year old named Matthais Fenrir who's uncle Lukas Grandor (Who is a magicians) assines Matthais a 7,000 year old Djann body guard because he thinks Matthais might be a necromancer. And with a crusade going on between three major empires, The Ottoman, the British, and the American empire it's best not to take chances. P.S the things in parenthases will be in footnotes in the book. Amd if you need any answered questions or more info just ask here or pm me.
Anyway here's the prolouge: (I may post more) enjoy:D
Prologue: Daron
The night was dark and still as usual. And as usual I was stuck on sentry duty again, for the thirteenth night in a row. Sure it hadn’t been all bad the past couple of nights, some minor imps and other creatures. (For all you humans out there who aren’t familiar with the classification of magical creatures or djinn it goes something like this. In order of weakest to strongest Shaitin, Djann, Qarren, and elementals. There are also varies subclasses and other means of classification that you humans are not able to comprehend. ) Tonight however was frightfully dull, I even checked all the planes to make sure nothing was coming but all was still. (Yet again to all you human’s reading this that do not have any training or background on the subject understand there are about eleven planes in existence. They over lap one another like layers in a pastry. Humans can only see one or two planes at a time, we djinn can see on all eleven if we want to.) In the guise of a sparrow I assumed I would be missed even if something did come my way. I sighed and tucked my head into my wing as though going to sleep. However much I wanted to go to sleep I didn’t get a chance. A strange pulse of magical energy blasted its way down the street and nearly knocked my off my perch in the tree beside the magician’s house. I hopped and looked around franticly for the source on all eleven planes; I didn’t have to look long.
The source was coming from a huge black mass, so dark it almost blended in with the dark of the night, broken only by to bright red beams that was the creatures’ eyes. I recognized it instantly as one of the most powerful of the djinn, a Qarren. Of course I wasn’t going to take him on as a tiny sparrow; I morphed into something more suited for a fight. The feeble sparrow disappeared to be replaced by an apposing gargoyle. By this time the mass of darkness was trying to break into the house only to be repelled again and again by the magical barrier that the surrounded the house. The gargoyle just sat back and watched as the Qarren repeated this attempted several times and met with the same result. It lasted about five minutes until I noticed that the barrier was beginning to crack from the repeated bashing. I had to do something it was only a matter of time before the barrier came crashing down.
To get its attention I grabbed a nearby rock and aimed for what I assumed was its head. Almost unfortunately, it worked. The black mass reared its red eyes on the Gargoyle only feet away. Predicting the move I flexed my stone wings and ascended just as the large black hand slammed down on were I was just seconds before.
“You missed.” I taunted as I threw yet another rock at the Qarren.
It managed to dodge this time and swung its other hand to swat me like a fly. I darted down, avoiding the hand and slamming my stony fist into its chin with a well placed uppercut. This sent the Qarren stumbling backwards strait into the barrier causing it to eminate a strong magical charge that looked a lot like lightning into the red-eyed menace. It let out a shriek that rang through the night like a siren, and as sudden as it had appeared it was gone in a puff of smoke and a distinct smell of brimstone that made me want to barf.
“Ugh, that’s a nice way to go.”
Of course that little scuffle was going to cause some kind of stir. The other sentries came to see what all the commotion was about.
“What’s all this Daron?”
Sure enough there was the big man himself Xailin. He was another Qarren usually in the form of a well-groomed business man. However at this moment he was a cat with its fur all disheveled and on end.
“Oh nothing it was just a little scuffle between me and a dangerous Qarren. That’s all, but I thank you for your concern.”
“Hey guys you haven’ a party without me?” a puff of smoke asked as it dissipated and reveled a lively little mouse.
“Yes as a matter in fact we are. Sorry for forgotten to send you the invite Cian.” I know I sounded mean but Cian was to put it nicely, a bit of an idiot. I knew he would take it literally and wouldn’t notice the sarcasim in my voice.
“That’s okay buddy now let’s party!”
He began to do a little jig accomplished by swing his tail and standing up on his rear rodent legs. Told you he’ll take it well.
“Cian there’s no party, Daron’s just being an idiot.”
(Ouch.)
The mouse stopped dancing and it’s wiskers dropped to the ground.
“Awwww , no party? Then, why are we all together?”
“I nearly got killed by a Qarren because somebody didn’t notice a 30 foot black monster coming our way!” I flapped my wings and slammed my tail on the ground for effect.
“Oh come off it Daron, you’re alive aren’t you? You are always bragging on how you’re the strongest of all the djinn, blah, blah, blah. I though you wouldn’t need help from little old me.”
I was about to retaliate the verbal strike with one of my own until Cain interrupted me. The scuffle had inevidably awoken the magician who was out “master” Lukas Grandor. He looked less intimidating in his pajamas instead of his usual business suit and his neat dark hair was matted and frizzy due to sleep. It took all my power to stop me from letting a wide smirk cross my face.
“What’s the meaning of all this racket?” His voice was slightly hoarse and weak from the lack of sleep.
“Nothing sir Daron here was just messing around with some Qarren.”
“You’re such a kiss up Xailin. I was stopping it from invading the house if you must know Mr. Grandor.”
“Kiss-up? Oh you’ll get yours some day Daron!”
We began a visiously heated verbal battle broken here and there by the occasional inferno.
“Okay you two break it up. You’re acting like two spoiled children.”
“Yes-sir…”
“I don’t care who did what or who fought whom just go back to your jobs.”
The magician turned back and headed back to bead as we went back to our boring sentry duties. However when Grandor was gone and I was heading back to my post I could have sworn I saw xailin give me a rude gesture with his paw. I pretended not to care and morphed back into a little sparrow taking my usual look-out point on the top of the roof. I tucked my head back into my wing and tried to get some more sleep. Besides if anything happened again I’ll let Xailin handle it.
Anyway here's the prolouge: (I may post more) enjoy:D
Prologue: Daron
The night was dark and still as usual. And as usual I was stuck on sentry duty again, for the thirteenth night in a row. Sure it hadn’t been all bad the past couple of nights, some minor imps and other creatures. (For all you humans out there who aren’t familiar with the classification of magical creatures or djinn it goes something like this. In order of weakest to strongest Shaitin, Djann, Qarren, and elementals. There are also varies subclasses and other means of classification that you humans are not able to comprehend. ) Tonight however was frightfully dull, I even checked all the planes to make sure nothing was coming but all was still. (Yet again to all you human’s reading this that do not have any training or background on the subject understand there are about eleven planes in existence. They over lap one another like layers in a pastry. Humans can only see one or two planes at a time, we djinn can see on all eleven if we want to.) In the guise of a sparrow I assumed I would be missed even if something did come my way. I sighed and tucked my head into my wing as though going to sleep. However much I wanted to go to sleep I didn’t get a chance. A strange pulse of magical energy blasted its way down the street and nearly knocked my off my perch in the tree beside the magician’s house. I hopped and looked around franticly for the source on all eleven planes; I didn’t have to look long.
The source was coming from a huge black mass, so dark it almost blended in with the dark of the night, broken only by to bright red beams that was the creatures’ eyes. I recognized it instantly as one of the most powerful of the djinn, a Qarren. Of course I wasn’t going to take him on as a tiny sparrow; I morphed into something more suited for a fight. The feeble sparrow disappeared to be replaced by an apposing gargoyle. By this time the mass of darkness was trying to break into the house only to be repelled again and again by the magical barrier that the surrounded the house. The gargoyle just sat back and watched as the Qarren repeated this attempted several times and met with the same result. It lasted about five minutes until I noticed that the barrier was beginning to crack from the repeated bashing. I had to do something it was only a matter of time before the barrier came crashing down.
To get its attention I grabbed a nearby rock and aimed for what I assumed was its head. Almost unfortunately, it worked. The black mass reared its red eyes on the Gargoyle only feet away. Predicting the move I flexed my stone wings and ascended just as the large black hand slammed down on were I was just seconds before.
“You missed.” I taunted as I threw yet another rock at the Qarren.
It managed to dodge this time and swung its other hand to swat me like a fly. I darted down, avoiding the hand and slamming my stony fist into its chin with a well placed uppercut. This sent the Qarren stumbling backwards strait into the barrier causing it to eminate a strong magical charge that looked a lot like lightning into the red-eyed menace. It let out a shriek that rang through the night like a siren, and as sudden as it had appeared it was gone in a puff of smoke and a distinct smell of brimstone that made me want to barf.
“Ugh, that’s a nice way to go.”
Of course that little scuffle was going to cause some kind of stir. The other sentries came to see what all the commotion was about.
“What’s all this Daron?”
Sure enough there was the big man himself Xailin. He was another Qarren usually in the form of a well-groomed business man. However at this moment he was a cat with its fur all disheveled and on end.
“Oh nothing it was just a little scuffle between me and a dangerous Qarren. That’s all, but I thank you for your concern.”
“Hey guys you haven’ a party without me?” a puff of smoke asked as it dissipated and reveled a lively little mouse.
“Yes as a matter in fact we are. Sorry for forgotten to send you the invite Cian.” I know I sounded mean but Cian was to put it nicely, a bit of an idiot. I knew he would take it literally and wouldn’t notice the sarcasim in my voice.
“That’s okay buddy now let’s party!”
He began to do a little jig accomplished by swing his tail and standing up on his rear rodent legs. Told you he’ll take it well.
“Cian there’s no party, Daron’s just being an idiot.”
(Ouch.)
The mouse stopped dancing and it’s wiskers dropped to the ground.
“Awwww , no party? Then, why are we all together?”
“I nearly got killed by a Qarren because somebody didn’t notice a 30 foot black monster coming our way!” I flapped my wings and slammed my tail on the ground for effect.
“Oh come off it Daron, you’re alive aren’t you? You are always bragging on how you’re the strongest of all the djinn, blah, blah, blah. I though you wouldn’t need help from little old me.”
I was about to retaliate the verbal strike with one of my own until Cain interrupted me. The scuffle had inevidably awoken the magician who was out “master” Lukas Grandor. He looked less intimidating in his pajamas instead of his usual business suit and his neat dark hair was matted and frizzy due to sleep. It took all my power to stop me from letting a wide smirk cross my face.
“What’s the meaning of all this racket?” His voice was slightly hoarse and weak from the lack of sleep.
“Nothing sir Daron here was just messing around with some Qarren.”
“You’re such a kiss up Xailin. I was stopping it from invading the house if you must know Mr. Grandor.”
“Kiss-up? Oh you’ll get yours some day Daron!”
We began a visiously heated verbal battle broken here and there by the occasional inferno.
“Okay you two break it up. You’re acting like two spoiled children.”
“Yes-sir…”
“I don’t care who did what or who fought whom just go back to your jobs.”
The magician turned back and headed back to bead as we went back to our boring sentry duties. However when Grandor was gone and I was heading back to my post I could have sworn I saw xailin give me a rude gesture with his paw. I pretended not to care and morphed back into a little sparrow taking my usual look-out point on the top of the roof. I tucked my head back into my wing and tried to get some more sleep. Besides if anything happened again I’ll let Xailin handle it.