I am so happy. You've always been like some freaking enigma that I knew too much about. Deadly and powerful, yet normal as well as beautiful. You're thrilling. You have always been. And now we are this, and it's hilarious -- we both don't understand why it feels so normal. Why the hell does it feel so normal. And I can't believe I have you. <3 You're everything. You. For as long as we want this. I never imagined I'd earn that. When I loved you it was some trivial weird quirk of mine, I thought. All these years, lol. All this time. Mutual. I couldn't have asked for a better surprise in life. You're what I've been waiting for. My entire life, the suspicions, the doubts, the discoveries that connect to you -- I want to believe I was meant to have you. I really don't understand how I'm so fortunate. And I really wish I was a better kisser.
I'm not going to lie, although it probably meant nothing to you it has really messed me up. That you were so lovely makes it all so much worse, but basically I feel even worse about myself than I did before. I don't regret meeting you but I regret what it turned into, I'm not sure if you're avoiding me, or why you could be avoiding me, but I'm jumping to the worst conclusions and it feels really shit. But at the same time there's a tiny bit of hope that you'll get in touch or we'll bump into each other and everything will be lovely again because I simply don't know how you feel. I really want to move on with my life, but at the same time I want you in it. I think I grossly misread the situation. One of the first things you said to me is 'I'm not a twat' and this lack of utterly anything is really making me wonder if you are. I suppose the only good thing is that I'm so busy I don't have much time to dwell on it.
I have started to see this forum as a public diary. Where everyone talks about their day and vent about mishaps and rejoice in new love. I love reading personal post because its like I'm getting a peak at someones life. I'm staying for a little longer because I enjoy this diary of ours.
Yeah pretty much anymore. ;D Also okay I am terrified, I will be honest with you I'm TERRIFIED yet when I see you all I want is to give it to you so I really hope I freaking will. I don't think my soul will rest until then. YOURS CERTAINLY WON'T DAMN WOMAN
This is exactly how I feel right now. I know it's all my fault but the dead silence is such a stagnant..Unpleasant thing. "Don't believe the things you tell yourself so late at night, you are your own worst enemy, you'll never win the fight."
i confess i love you so much it hurts i confess it's not the same without you around i confess i never knew courage until you came along that's all i have to say
I can never tell if the niggling itch should be one of positivism trying to overcome negativity or vice versa. I almost feel as if the former would be more meaningful than the permanently disparaging nature of the latter.
Sometimes I loathe certain people for the pettiest reasons, reasons I am aware are insignificant. Like right now.